I Will Always Have...

When Declan was a peanut (days old)... my BFF Claire flew in from Brazil to meet him.

As if it were yesterday, I can still picture her holding Declan down at the edge of the lake.

I took pictures as the sun set off in the distance, silhouetting Claire and Dec.

And, I can still hear her softly spoken words to my 12-day-old-son, "I am your Auntie

Claire..... and I will always have gum....".

At the time, her not-meant-for-me-to-hear-words melted my heart.

This was my best friend, who had flown in from a hemisphere away,

to hold my dear son in her hands and to tell him, in a simplistic way,

that she'd always have something exciting to offer up -

even on his darkest of days.

For anyone who has ever tuned in to the sitcom "Friends", you'll know that our Dear "Auntie Claire" borrowed her lines from "Aunt Monica", who offers the same promise of a never-ending supply of gum to her nephew Ben (her brother Ross' son).

Regardless, Claire's words meant a lot to me. And they have meant a lot to Declan in the days since, when Claire has filled days with creative and enthusiastic FUN and on occasion, gum.

****

Last night, I lay in a tent in the middle of my backyard with 4 nieces and nephews, 1 son, and 1 daughter.

I'm so proud of my little campers.

They did a beautiful job relaxing under a star-filled sky, snuggling into their soft sleeping bags, and giving way to the power of falling asleep with a cool breeze on their face and far-off animal cries in the distance.

During the night

I helped Cormac scamper from the tent and pee just before dawn.

I made sure Aidan wasn't suffocating himself as he nestled deep in the corner of the tent.

I became surprisingly proud of Anna, who was on her first official sleep over and was the first to give way to her exhaustion. She got my unofficial vote for "best all-around-camper".

I was comforted by the calm, still, presence that Mags exuded from the far edge of the tent. I knew she was one of the last to fall asleep, but I also knew she was enjoying the view of the star-filled sky from her cozy spot.

I was happy to have Declan snuggle up between his cousins on the night of his 6th birthday.

And, I was amazed that Nonie fell asleep so soundly, long before the cousin tent winded down.

****

While the cousins fell asleep, I recounted (outloud) the number of nights I've spent in a tent:

(must be close to 400) - from Glacier Peak in Washington, to the frozen lakes of Minnesota and Ontario, to the Alpe d'Huez in France, and the chipmunk overrun beaches of Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia - and of course, the sandy beaches of the Vineyard and South Carolina. For a moment I was impressed with the amount of time I've logged in tents. Intense.

I encouraged the cousins to listen for new sounds. NOTTOSLEEP.

And, to try to ID familiar ones. They listened for a long time and finally came the question I was waiting for:

"Can we stop listening and start sleeping now?"

To ease anxiousness,

I twirled the hair of my 6-year-old nephew.

I unzipped and zipped and unzipped and zipped the tent for tiny bladders.

I shined the light on the grass to direct the mid-night peeing.

I sang out-of-tune-songs like "You are My Sunshine" "This Little Light of Mine" "ABCD -" Nonie's request)....and "50-Nifty-United States...."

Just to be sure that you're sure. I did sing each song out of tune... though I had them begging for encores.....

****

In the midst of all this, I paused

and realized I was so happy.

I took a deep breath of fresh, fresh air.

Then, I took a deep breath again.

I gazed at the stars and at the blinking lights of planes flying high above.

For a moment, I wondered where the planes were going. Ireland?? Maybe.

After a while, I couldn't hear much of anything.

Except the sounds of amazing children sleeping.

Once I knew all the tiny little children around me were asleep,

I whispered to them in the dark of the night:

"I am your Auntie K,

and, I will always have room in my tent for you."