This is for the birds...er...dogs...

I never thought about it starting my job, but going into people's homes is very intrusive.
No, not for them.
For me.
Because my leg, and my bag, and sometimes, even my dignity gets invaded upon by the creatures that live in these homes.

The dogs.

And I am a lover of canines, I even have had one live with me (oh Ray, how we miss your stench), but the tale of the dogs has gotten a bit out of hand.

First of all, I have to keep their names straight. THE DOG'S NAMES, not my patients.
And I only have to do this because I usually need it first, DOWN JACK!
NO HUMPING DJ! BAD! GIVE ME MY THERMOMETER JOJO...HERE! NOW!

I never thought I would have to plan my outfits around other people's animals, but if it's raining, and I'm going to see the leg humper, dark pants it is! But if I go to Mr X's house and the big dog is out, light pants for sure, the hair will show less. Not to mention the crotch sniffers, the ferocious barkers AS I LEAVE the house, the underfooters (oops, ARF!) and the giant dog crate night stand dwellers.

WHAT? REALLY?

Yes. It's true, all of it true.
It's comforting and reassuring to know that people out there are truly insane about their animals, it's natural, it's normal, it's therapeutic, it's all in a day's work.





*all dogs names have been changes...

*phot of Ray by Xavy

Drivin' Dirty

I spend some some time in the car now.

And by some I mean, a lot.

And by car, I mean, my second home.

So, I have noticed in the past couple of months that all this time in the car might be reeking havoc on my driving etiquette.

I like to think that I have a clean driving record. Except for that one MINOR accident junior year in high school in the 1 month old car and the 5 car FENDER BENDER involving multiple members of the lacrosse team. Needless to say students were NOT ALLOWED to drive their own vehicles to sporting events after that. (But seriously, why were we allowed to in the first place?)

In addition to the minor dents, broken headlights, a dead deer now and then, ASIDE FROM THOSE TYPES OF THINGS, I have a good record.

But now...my job is to BE IN MY CAR.

And I have noticed that this has left me a bit LAZY in my DRIVING BEHAVIORS.

For example, the other day I realized I was steering WITH MY KNUCKLES ONLY, like, the top knuckles, and I am pretty sure I was on the highway.

And I have decided that the BEST TIME to pull out my phone and make some calls is while merging onto a major road, highway OR when I am driving through a construction zone with MULTIPLE POLICE CARS ready and waiting to bust me.

But this afternoon I realized I might really be in danger. I started DRANCING.

Yup.

I did it.

I was driving and dancing.

And this is by far the most dangerous, because as I was moving my arms, and singing (only trying to entertain a toddler of course), I was also pressing the gas in rhythm with the music.

And maybe swerving a wee bit onto the WRONG SIDE of the double yellow. But it was hard to tell because I was sooooo into it.

Drancing is dangerous, drancing is crazy, drancing is wrong.

And fun.

And I will STOP DRANCING....

...on major roadways, but beware if you meet me on the sideroads where the speed limit is 30mph or less.....

my car will be the one taking the lead.

The Rollercoaster....

The ups and downs of nursing are crazy. There is much more that I thought I would write about it but for now, I think thats about all I should/can/will divulge.

Oh, by the way, is this a Christmas decorating contest? Is there a way I can capture the essenence of the wimpy wimpy wimpy tree with WHITE lights that are ALWAYS ON and COLORED lights that go from s l o w f a d e to seizure causing within seconds?

Probably not, let your imagination take you there. For now feast your eyes. The making of a Christmas card.