On: Asking for Help

I have never been good at asking for help.

Never. Never. Never.

But recently, I've had to.

As a full-day *important meeting* in the "middle of nowhere Massachusetts" lurked overhead, I swallowed my pride and asked a neighbor if she'd take Dec for the morning

(to play with her same-age-son) and stick them on the kindergarten bus together at noon.

Not only did she say yes so willingly and beautifully, she sent me the most adorable email after the events: Dec spent most of the morning at our house encouraging "T" to "tidy up each toy" before they moved on to the next activity. My response was: "Really?!? I wish he did that around here!@?"

Maybe I didn't need to make that extra trip to the grocery store the night before to make sure Dec had something snazzy to share during that neighborly lunch-session. Why do I make things harder than they need to be?

***

Yesterday we asked Uncle Ollie to help on another tricky scheduling day.

Dec was thrilled.

I tried to ignore the guilty pit in my belly but it was certainly there.

Ollie was to bring Dec from his morning activities to our house, in time for the kindergarten bus. And to wait with him until the bus came (of course). But you see, Ollie is a busy guy - with a business and children of his own.

In my eyes, this was a very big ask.

At work, I waited until approximately 30 seconds after Dec's bus should've picked him up and texted Ollie:

"Dec was excited to have you transport him to the bus today.

I hope it was smooth. Thank you thank you thank you. Thanks again....K"

To which he responded:

"It was an absolute pleasure. Any time. He's a cool polite fun guy to be around."

A few seconds later a picture comes through.

It was a picture taken from our driveway of the "little" bus with Dec's little cherub face looking out the bus window at him. The title of the message from Ollie was: "Proof."

Cue the mother's heart into mega-melt-mode.

So I replied (choking back the guilt.....):

"Glad the bus came !!!! Always an adventure figuring out which direction (and what time) it will come.

New driver almost every day. Thanks again - I'm certain he enjoyed every mili-second.

(He told Nonie this morning that "Ollie is a cool guy".)"

In response I got a message from Ollie with no title.

Just the following picture of Ollie's daughter (Anna) & Dec together:

"He wanted to bring Anna with him" Joked the message.

To which I laughed out loud.

Sitting at my desk, in an office full of people, I laughed.

Out loud.

And I knew that this laughter brought me one step closer to being okay with asking for help. Not all of the time. But some of the time.

Thank you Ollie & Leah and to the many others who make me feel okay about handing over my children: Some of the time. But not all of the time.

I'm not good at asking for help.

But I'm getting better at it.

P.S. Look closely at Dec's pocket in that picture and you'll see the note I scribbled to Ollie about not knowing which direction the bus would come from and thanking him a million times over. Wonder what the Kindergarten teachers thought when that popped out of Dec's pocket at school. Very "Please-look-after-this-bear ... in full Paddington-esque-style". Huh?

Dear Butter,

One week ago, we met in an open field.
You let me bite you.
Twice.

My mom cried.
Defeated.
She thought I was a hopeless case.

But your mom,
she believed in me.
She knew I could do it.

So we mingled.
And we played.
You let me bite you again.

But now you are my friend.
I will follow you
and watch what you do.

I had forgotten how to be a pet,
and how to play.
You believed in me, too.



I'll try not to bite you again.

Love,
Drake

Happy Mother's Day

There is but one and only one,
Whose love will fail you never.
One who lives from sun to sun,
With constant fond endeavor.

There is but one and only one
On earth there is no other.
In heaven a noble work was done
When God gave us a Mother.
-Irish Blessing




As a non-mother I don't know all of the feelings that a mother might have.
When you have a child, do you expect that after the years of teaching, coaching, playing, watching, helping, supporting, and cheering, the job will never be done?
And I mean never.
I know this become I am on the receiving end of these gifts.
I am the taker.
I am the one in need.
And she,
she is always the one giving.



She is calm and has the wisdom of someone,
that you can't help but turn to.
So I do.
Over and over again.



Always one to surround herself with lots of her own peeps,
she still can make you feel like you are the only one who matters.
In that moment, you are hers.
And she,
she will always be mine.