On: Asking for Help

I have never been good at asking for help.

Never. Never. Never.

But recently, I've had to.

As a full-day *important meeting* in the "middle of nowhere Massachusetts" lurked overhead, I swallowed my pride and asked a neighbor if she'd take Dec for the morning

(to play with her same-age-son) and stick them on the kindergarten bus together at noon.

Not only did she say yes so willingly and beautifully, she sent me the most adorable email after the events: Dec spent most of the morning at our house encouraging "T" to "tidy up each toy" before they moved on to the next activity. My response was: "Really?!? I wish he did that around here!@?"

Maybe I didn't need to make that extra trip to the grocery store the night before to make sure Dec had something snazzy to share during that neighborly lunch-session. Why do I make things harder than they need to be?

***

Yesterday we asked Uncle Ollie to help on another tricky scheduling day.

Dec was thrilled.

I tried to ignore the guilty pit in my belly but it was certainly there.

Ollie was to bring Dec from his morning activities to our house, in time for the kindergarten bus. And to wait with him until the bus came (of course). But you see, Ollie is a busy guy - with a business and children of his own.

In my eyes, this was a very big ask.

At work, I waited until approximately 30 seconds after Dec's bus should've picked him up and texted Ollie:

"Dec was excited to have you transport him to the bus today.

I hope it was smooth. Thank you thank you thank you. Thanks again....K"

To which he responded:

"It was an absolute pleasure. Any time. He's a cool polite fun guy to be around."

A few seconds later a picture comes through.

It was a picture taken from our driveway of the "little" bus with Dec's little cherub face looking out the bus window at him. The title of the message from Ollie was: "Proof."

Cue the mother's heart into mega-melt-mode.

So I replied (choking back the guilt.....):

"Glad the bus came !!!! Always an adventure figuring out which direction (and what time) it will come.

New driver almost every day. Thanks again - I'm certain he enjoyed every mili-second.

(He told Nonie this morning that "Ollie is a cool guy".)"

In response I got a message from Ollie with no title.

Just the following picture of Ollie's daughter (Anna) & Dec together:

"He wanted to bring Anna with him" Joked the message.

To which I laughed out loud.

Sitting at my desk, in an office full of people, I laughed.

Out loud.

And I knew that this laughter brought me one step closer to being okay with asking for help. Not all of the time. But some of the time.

Thank you Ollie & Leah and to the many others who make me feel okay about handing over my children: Some of the time. But not all of the time.

I'm not good at asking for help.

But I'm getting better at it.

P.S. Look closely at Dec's pocket in that picture and you'll see the note I scribbled to Ollie about not knowing which direction the bus would come from and thanking him a million times over. Wonder what the Kindergarten teachers thought when that popped out of Dec's pocket at school. Very "Please-look-after-this-bear ... in full Paddington-esque-style". Huh?

count your blessings

My days are strange. I find glitter in the radiator vents. I eat my turkey sandwich at 9:30 when my kids go to art. I clean up bloody nose-drippings off the floor.  I laugh it off when my student points to the word "Mass" and says that the last three letters make a bad word. Does your six year old know that? Or have I just done an amazing job teaching phonics?
But today I looked out on my domain and my heart smiled.
I felt it.
There they all sat. Engulfed in their work as I sat with three girls for a reading group.

I know that I am not doing this alone.
I count my blessings.

I come home to a dog wagging his tail to see me. Even though I leave him for maybe a little longer than I should. He's been sitting on the love seat all day. I can see his butt imprint. I set it up all cozy for him (shhh). He's kicked the blanket off - straight to the source. He's sassy. I like that.

I have health and a bit of wealth that is maybe not as monetary as might be nice but it fills me up. It looks like parents and sisters and brothers. In-laws and out. Nieces and nephews.

Spending my day with 6 and 7 year olds help me remember the fundamentals. The really simple things. The pleases and thank you's. Your welcomes and I'm sorry's.  The wants and needs.

I know I have much more than I need.

And I count my blessings.

Man, we're old.

Happy 100th post me-ladies :)

I would like to thank, in this order:

Bernice,
Annie,
Kara,
Tese,
Friendly's.


Because Annie uses Bernice Brownie Recipe, which we all know to be delicious.


And when Tese called Annie to ask about the recipe, she didn't pick up the phone. So Tese called Kara, to see where Annie was, or to see who knew what about Bernice's brownie recipe.


Turns out Annie has blogged about Bernice's Brownies and Kara told Tese so.


Tese whipped up a batch of brownies and offered them to me as dinner the other night when I met her at the park and ride. We were headed to a David Sedaris show. It was hysterical! I gladly accepted.


Tonight I opened up the bag of Bernice's treats and plopped one in my new anthropologie bowl (housewarming gift. cute) and scooped some Friendly's ice cream on top. As I enjoyed my sweet (with two, budding, cavities, might I add- didn't know I had non-filled teeth left) I reflected on how the Friendly's ice cream really wasn't that good. This surprised me. I mean, it wasn't bad, but it was second fiddle to the brownie. It was, however, the perfect soft-ness which made the dish a success.


A celebration to be sure! Which was perfect because when I signed in I saw I would be the 100th post and I knew my brownie sundae celebration was more than just a craving fulfilled.

It just takes a little Enya, sometimes.

Dear Enya. You lulled my entire household to a happy place this evening.
I owe ya one.

P.S. Miss Nonie is missing from these photos because Enya lulled her to sleep sooner than expected!
P.P.S. Both boys are squeaky clean in that photo!!! Love that.

TGIT

Thank

Goodness

It's

Today

Although the air is getting crisper

and the sun is setting earlier

and work is starting tomorrow

and I'm not getting paid as much as I would like to be

and I don't have the job I wish I did

and my computer is fussy

and I think the neighbor's have realized I'm "borrowing" their internet

and I'm just about out of garbage bags and the bin is full

and I haven't seen some family since Sunday

and I would love to make some homemade bread but I'm trying not to EAT bread

and I can't find a good deoderant that doesn't smell like b.o.

and there's no puppy to play with after work

and my "puppy jar" money was used to buy a couch

and my handyman hasn't seemed to figure out that the pile of framed items in the corner of the kitchen would look so much cuter hanging on the wall...

...I'm still happy it's today.

And I can kick off my shoes (that give me blisters and ballet-slip-right-off-my-feet-while-I'm-trying-to-walk) and give thanks for what I do have.
At the top of my list is everyone who reads this blog (unless someone not-related has stumbled across it, to which I say... my apologies).
Among other things.

Because "if we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's; we'd grab ours back".
True.

Oh and look - my chairs are making their grand debut. I managed to cover all four of them, the last while it still had 1 bolt connecting the seat to the wood. Talented? Probably. Unless you look from the bottom-up.