Let Your Acquaintances Be Many

First Reading

A reading from the Book of Sirach



Let your acquaintances be many,
but one in a thousand your confidant.

A faithful friend is beyond price, no sum can balance his worth.

A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy.



**** Just cleaning out files and came across a copy of the readings we handed
to all the readers at our wedding ceremony.
(Typed in large font, of course - I was way more detail-oriented back then).



Let your acquaintances be many, but one in a thousand your confidant.


To dusting off old file cabinets!

Hey Sisters....

While I can't think of a better new brother in law....

I must say:

Damn, I miss you all.

What a weekend of bliss....and joy...and everything in between.

Congrats Lils.

But I miss you. And I'd be wrapped in a big lie if I didn't post that tonight.

All my love tonight and always.

my bowl overfloweth

It all hit me today.
Mostly metaphorically speaking, but almost literally, too.

My kids, my coworkers. They all came on full speed with wedding talk.
There was wrapping paper thrown wildly through the air
there was cake as high as an elephant's eye.

Wooden bowls
and chocolate
and well wishes from my 1st graders.

It's real,
isn't it?

The Outlaws Moving In.

Look Carefully.

What do you see?

* picture is incomplete (one very important outlaw is missing but I don't have a pic with all 7, does anyone???!?)

***

The first time I was introduced to the idea of an "Outlaw", I was 16 years old and had just landed at JFK airport after a 14-day dogsledding trip with complete strangers in the middle of nowhere Minnesota (alas - that is a different story for a different day).

Dad and Mom broke the news to me once my gear was loaded into the car.

"Tinker Toy the Family Joy is getting married".

Married?

Cue the tears.

Cue more of my tears.

(I'm pretty sure I cried for 36-months straight.)

For, I had lost my big sister. Lost her Forever.

So it seemed at the time.

It is kind of funny now, but it wasn't at all funny then when the majority of our family cried as T got in the suburban after her wedding in front of our old vineyard house en route to her honey moon in Nantucket.

It is as if our world came to a crashing halt. The joy in our family had been whisked away by someone else.

Who?

Who would do this to me you ask?

An Outlaw.

That's who.

***

Outlaws.

For years I wasn't sure if I loved the fact that Outlaws made our family bigger (funnier, more exciting)....

or simply hated the fact that they took a piece of me (specifically - my childhood) with them when they married off one of my dearly loved siblings. Yes, this is about Me.

Married sibling confirms to the world that I should kiss my dear childhood away - one wedding at a time.

***

Just a few days ago - over Christmas & New Years I spent some time with the Outlaws. The whole slew of them were in VT for the festivities.

After many careful observations of their interactions with my siblings, I realized that (in many cases) the Outlaws do what I'm supposed to do (love my sibling effortlessly & unconditionally and make them feel like they are super-amazing ...and all that good stuff) much better than I do, or ever could dream of doing.

And, as easily as that awkward, run-on sentence up there is to read - admitting that reality about my Outlaws is quite difficult for me to do.

***

On Christmas morning I was sandwiched between my big brother and my sister-in-law as my bro unwrapped his gifts. She sat anxiously on her knees telling me to watch him unwrap his next gift. (Upon writing this all down now I realize that, it probably would have been most appropriate if I hadn't been between them - but that thought didn't enter my mind at the time...Can I get a "third wheel" from the crowd?)

Carrying on:

In a box he uncovered a pair of smartwool socks. Laughing, he explained that he loved these (socks) and this weight wool or something in particular. And I truly think he would have been fine if the gift had ended there. Trust me, this is my brother we're talking about - he's a simpleton.

But, since my sister-in-law knows my brother (much better than I do at this point, gulp), she pointed out to him that the socks had a unique name on the back.

And behold, on the back in the label section, my brother found seat assignments (front row) to his favorite musician who he's always wanted to see live in concert.

(And since you're undoubtedly wondering: No. Sadly, there wasn't a ticket for me on the back of those smartwool socks....which is when I (the Christmas 3rd Wheel) excused myself to fetch a cup of tea.)

But before I left the scene I noted:

He is happy. He is Really happy.

***

I observed the two of them again as I swam with the kids. They sat peacefully in chairs just at the edge of the pool. They spoke not a word but were in each other's presence and they looked so happy.

I floated on my back for a sec, thinking - "wow, my brother married the perfect person".

***

In just a matter of weeks, I get the distinct honor to welcome another Outlaw into my life.

He is brave to marry the baby of this family. Brave, Brave Sir Eric.

And in these days leading up to the wedding, as the excitement builds with each day's passing,

I can't help but think - "wow, my sister has found the perfect person".

***

Brave, Brave Sir Eric will soon join the other Outlaws and

He will become...

One of us.

Are you ready?

***

Even though it will be one more huge step away from my childhood...

The Baby's Marriage to Eric is one giant leap toward knowing that one more of my siblings is in great hands.

Forever.

There is such peace of mind that comes to me with each and every marriage.

***

So I ask you again to

Look Carefully.

What do you see?

Each one a blessing and a welcome addition to our expanding family tree.

P.S. Welcome & thank you Brave, Brave Sir Eric for being The Baby's best friend.

safety net

In about 2 months time I am going to be a misses. Missus? Mrs? Let me tell you how I feel about it...
WEIRD!
Also, so excited. And hopeful. Maybe even a bit relieved.
But before I get to many of those emotions there's one thing that I have to get over. This sense of, oh, maybe modesty is the word I'm looking for. Even a bit of independence. Because I can't do it all on my own. I was thinking last night, as I lay in bed focusing all my energy on taking deep breaths, about the times I have really yelled at someone. Or the times I have cried myself to sleep. For whatever reason. Often no reason at all. And I remember being much younger and more naive, I would say, over and over "I am not strong enough for this".
And He listened.
And as I've said time and time over, He's scaled back. Or made me stronger. And I can almost always handle my lot in life. But now I don't have to do it alone.
I don't know if E is my "better" half, but he does help make me better.
So I reward him for that. By opening up a little more of myself. By letting him help a little more. By telling him about ailments and issues and some things in between.
Tonight, as he towered over me in his work boots, I told him about the funny noises and smells my car was making. I felt like a little girl. I felt like he could take care of me.

And he did.
And he does.
And I truly think he always will.

be nice... or leave

I need to be nice. I know that. But it's not always easy.
I need to bite my tongue.
And put on a fake smile once in a while.
But it's not always easy.
I need to say "great idea"
or "I'll think about it".
But it's so hard.
So hard to have opinions these days.
And keep them to myself?
I am so bad at that.
Because I know it will just stew inside me.
And I'll marinate in negative emotion.
Then I'll bubble.
And you know what happens to bubbles?
They pop.
I got sick of popping a little while ago.
But I never used to be this way.
I was QUEEN of the smile and nod.
But I am changing.
And perhaps at the occasional expense of others-
I think I like it.

Even if Santa is watching.

Can you tell I had a weekend at the outlaw's?
Three months before the wedding?

Can you?

Hugs to MY people. My sweet, let-me-be-myself, people. 

win-win

The other day I must have been feeling hopeful.
I also must have been feeling like I had some time to spare.
Because when I got to school I saw a beautiful rainbow and I decided to take a picture of it.
Notice, if you will, that I am the first car in the lot,
always am.

That must have been just a few hours before I decided to go on and get married in 5 months.
Emotionally I am ready.
YEEHAW!
Mentally,
woah.
There are a lot of people to coordinate to get together on one day,
did you notice?
Goodness me. This thing can really get out of hand.
BUT that's why 5 months is better than 12 months. Do you see? Just cram it all in THEN enjoy it after the fact. I mean, during. Right, this is fun. During. And after, too.

Did I tell you that while trying to coordinate dresses and photographers and musicians x3 and
peacocks and priests and family and invitations and accessories and friends and lodging and pre-cana weekends and, and, and...
I am also left to coordinate how 23 6 year olds and 1 5 year old should co-exist in a hot sweaty classroom to learn and also to pretend that each-other is not farting their way through the day?
They do. It's gross.

So when I get an email that someone is bored.
Bored.
I can't help it. I just can't.
All of my planning. My 10 hours at school a day. My poor dog that I leave at 6:30am and come home to at 5:30pm. My water bottle that sits empty because I know I can't fill it because I don't have time to go to the bathroom.
All of those factors go... excuse me? Excuse me?

Don't you know?
Don't you get it?
Don't you see?

I've got a wedding to plan.

Oh, but I know. I signed up for it. All of it. From the job to the toots to the reception. I took it on. It's all mine.

So maybe. I can let him lick some envelopes?
Win-win.

Plan, Un-plan, Re-plan

I made a lot of plans this weekend.
For better or worse.

I spent 2 hours at school planning my week and organizing my classroom.
I arranged where the spelling papers and materials would go.
I mapped out what to teach in Social Studies (poor Social Studies) and Science.
I bought supplies to make creation collages that will knock your socks off.
I meant to do my goal sheets for some of my students. Just remembering this now. I'll have to re-plan that for tomorrow.

I spent 1 hour planning and organizing my closet.
I moved the skirts and dresses to the darkest corners and then re-moved them to the darkest bin.
I made space for wool pants and sweaters.
I put away the sandals and moved the cowboy boots to the front.
I decided my Saints jersey will be my Sunday uniform.

I spent the rest of the weekend planning and unplanning a wedding.
I can't remember,
is this supposed to be fun?
I started thinking about how I am dreading to love, or loving to dread, or just dreading, the cold weather. As I packed up my skirts I saw several I hadn't even gotten to wear yet and not just because I have too many but because their late summer/early fall days are numbered and I forgot to remind them about that.
I was thinking about getting married this time next year and then about getting married in the summer and then I remembered how much I despised March last year.
I remember hearing the line "March is so that people who don't drink know what a hangover is like".
Oh, March.
Are you winter or spring?
And then I got to thinking,
I should plan on not liking March.
It has some rather unlikable qualities.
But should I plan on planning a wedding for March?
Would I then like March?
Or not like my wedding?

So my classroom is organized and my closet is rearranged and now I am left wondering about this wedding and about March.

Does it even matter? I'm sure Vegas is lovely any time of year.

The first day of the rest of our days.

I was asked today to send pictures of my wedding to someone. Electronically.

They wanted to see them as they are considering having the men wear tan suits in their upcoming August wedding.

This required me to locate my wedding album and SCAN a picture in.

Was it really that long ago that we were married? Before the digital age?

My word. Time sure does fly...

After reviewing the photo above, I have decided several things:

1. The hubby and I should have worn king & queen crowns. As you can see, I fixed that one all by myself - errr with a little help by some fast and furious online photo editing.
2. I should have planted a big red-lipstick smooch on the hubby's cheek during the sermon (fixed that one too).
3. Never noticed before today, but do examine the picture for yourself. That is me pulling the hubby down the aisle.
   
4. And finally, those band aids. So NOT necessary. Who told me to put them there anyway? Shame on you.