Hope in a Box

What I'd like to share tonight is called "Hope in Box"

You see, it all started when our financial institution decided to eliminate their "cash rewards" program - which I never paid much attention to anyway.

But recently, I noticed a lingering 3,000 + points in the periphery of my banking desktop window.

What's that????? I inquired. Innocently. Upon further inspection, I noticed that my rewards PROGRAM had been eliminated. But I had valuable points JUST WAITING for someone to take notice.

Others with more $, could have cashed their rewards in for cars, luxurious travels, jewels, and niceties... but my rewards? Wow. The best I could do with them was a game of Parcheesi.

So? Of course, I ordered it. And, upon its arrival at our home, I answered a million of these:

"what's in that box?"

"what's in that box?"

"what's in that box?"

"what's in that box?"

"what's in that box?"

"what's in that box?"

"what's in that box?""what's in that box?""what's in that box?""what's in that box?"

you getting the idea?

And when my flat-toned answer resonated with the inquiring children, they would ask,

"Parcheesi? What's Parcheesi? Can we play, can we play, can we play Parcheesi now?"

"can we play Parcheesi now?"

"can we play Parcheesi now?"

"can we play Parcheesi now?"

"can we play Parcheesi now?"

"can we play Parcheesi now?"

"can we play Parcheesi now?"

"can we play Parcheesi now?" "can we play Parcheesi now?" "can we play Parcheesi now?"

We didn't play. Because, I asked the children to wait.

Wait 'til Friday (the game is not that much fun).

Wait 'til Sunday (the game is not that much fun).

But tonight, once the hubs had gone to watch game 7. .....and Nonie had ventured off to sleep. Dec came wandering downstairs asking if I would unwrap the game and play.

"NO!" I thought at first. (Because the game is not that much fun).

But, "Yes" (brightly, smiley, enthusiastically) and so..

Unwrap the box. I played. He played.

Together we played.

He rolled, and counted, laughed, and high-fived... (tiny fists).

I laughed, and watched, savored and loved..... (his whole old soul).

Parcheesi was all that. And then some. I think it may have been a little bit more.

And LONG before I knew it (or discovered it really), my child five times younger than me -

sitting inches away - knew that playing the game was really about... being together.

The two of us. Me and him. Him and me. Parcheesi, aka - "hope in a box".

A reason to smile

I had just been thinking that I take myself too seriously. I mean, last night my Mr. Tried to do some weird high five thing and I told him I couldn't because my hands were busy with some papers.
Really?
This morning I was chatting with a second grader. We were having a fine time until she said

"I don't believe what my brother says"
(he is in my class this year)
"what does he say?"
"he says you never smile".

He might be right. Good grief, if I can't lighten up with 6 year olds what's in store for me?

I hope that little boy caught a glimpse of me later in the afternoon when a student returned to the classroom after his hour with his therapist-buddy.
"I have to tell you something kind of inappropriate" he said to me.
Hm.
"ok. Do you need to whisper it?"
So he said, right into my ear
"my buddy" meaning his counselor. And so maybe you can imagine the horrific scantiois that zoomed through my head of a six year old boy in a room on the third floor with just a twenty something year old gal. Forgive me.
"made me laugh so hard that I peed in my pants".

And oh, was I ever smiling.
I just needed to be handed a reason to.

To Do Lists.

In the hope of feeling
like I'm accomplishing something,
I just wrote something
on my "To Do" list
JUST SO THAT I COULD cross it off.

There, see how productive I am?

They Got Me.

Instead of their Mom last night -
they got me.

Because their Mom was in Michigan at the bedside
of her father who had quadruple bypass surgery the day before.

THEIR Mom stayed an extra day to be with her father
who happened to be celebrating his 72nd birthday.

So instead of her, they got ME.

And I was warned that they would be SAD, SAD, SAD that Mom wasn't home.
So I pulled out all the stops and we played and laughed and laughed and played.
(And managed to get all homework done, lunches made, and reading completed...)

But while taking care of them I realized that it is the subtle differences that make
a Mom a Mom.

And the way I Mom, isn't the way their Mom moms.

Like, my kids jump out of the tub and then I cocoon them in a big blue towel and
call them a burrito.

But, THEIR MOM lays a towel down on the lip of the tub, then they stand up on it
hold their Mom's hands and jump like a flying squirrel onto the slippery wet floor.
(Or, at least, this is what they told me usually happens).

When they are wrapped up nice and snug in their cocoon, it isn't called a cocoon.
Or a burrito.

So when I went to dress them in their PJs (which they call Jammies), we were missing
a key ingredient.

Underpants.

When I came into the family room with the wrong kind (?!) of underpants I went back
into their room searching. And searching.
And I knew they could hear me from their playroom because THEIR MOM still uses a baby monitor. So I kept chatting to them.

"Can you hear me, I'm searching for underpants la la la la underpants where are you????" I shouted into the monitor.

And I could hear their distant laughter from the other room. Far away. While they waited
for their underpants. Laughing at my antics.

For a moment, I think they were happy that they got me tonight.

So, when I came back into the family room waving my empty hands and telling them that I couldn't find any of the "right kinds of underpants". They laughed again.

Because the underpants were on my head.

And I'm pretty certain THEIR MOM has ever done that before.

Thinking 'Bout Getting Older.

There are far too many thoughts whizzing through my mind to write a clear, and coherent post.
This would explain why you haven't heard from me much in the past few days/weeks. What an insanely busy 6 weeks.

I keep saying to people "life seems to be in fast-forward". My neighbor, she drives by while I scoop the mail up, my friends in town - while our grocery carts eek by each other in the pasta aisle, my not-yet-friends in the parking lot of Nonie's preschool.... they all hear my same phrase - "life seems to be in fast-forward".

And it does. Life seems to be moving in fast-forward. The bags under my eyes and my gray hairs are having trouble keeping up.

Can't believe we're halfway through October and moving full steam ahead into November.
Wait. What?!

I'm thinking about getting older. I'm thinking 'bout it a lot.

During these weeks, and days, when I keep saying to myself:

Slow Down.
Look Around.

Your Children Are SO YOUNG.
And Full of FUN. And they WANT to be with YOU.


So, in full awareness of the "getting older" mindset - the other day,

I said to the hubs - let's take the children for a bowl of soup at our favorite spot....
and then to the Res for pictures.


And then to the res for pictures. A photo shoot -

So that we won't forget this day.

This day when I'm thinking 'bout getting older.


***

So, when we got there the children laughed and ran and played about -
as they always do.




And when they got tired we (me and the hubs) taught them all about echos.

You know the echos that come from the sounds we cry out from the depths of our timid souls especially when we think about getting older???

The sounds we hear reflected back at the most unassuming and unexpected times.

-those echos. We had an impromptu field lesson about them.

First it was funny to get the children to scream as loud as they could.

Then,

we each took a turn - howling to the wild blue yonder and carefully listening to each echo as it returned from the distant valley.


That night,

I howled. And howled and howled.

My echo responded. And responded and responded.

And when the howling was done,

In my mind, in my heart, and in my soul...

I never did feel quite so young.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE FAMILY JOY!!!!!

Even when you have BLUE LIPS we love you sooooooo MUCH.

xoxo

These Are a Few of My Favorite...

things.

Diagnosis.

I just love the one shoe on, one shoe off look.

*image not mine - i only wish i could be that clever

not for the teary, a stroll down memoir lane

I REMEMBER,

and I

repeat every day...

"I appreciate this day, this age, this act,

I will not look back with regret, punishing myself for not loving every moment

Life gets better and better"