"For Serious."

I fell in love with Dec across the checkerboard this afternoon.

It wouldn't have happened if he didn't come bounding down the staircase

asking in his sweet little boy voice if I would play a game with him.

When I agreed, he had the checkers set up in an instant.

I sat down and we played. I don't really want to call him a cheater - but really,

the kid cheats at every chance he gets. One of his double jumps today was so, so

creative and so, so incredibly illegal, that I had to call the Hubs in to witness it.

Later on in the game, I tried to jump one of Dec's checkers and he insisted that it

wasn't in the box that I'd jumped.

His quote (and yes, I wrote it down the minute he said it, out of mad-mother-fear that I'd forget it):

"Mommy, my checker was in the middle of those two boxes. For serious."

As if, having your checker reside in the middle of two boxes, actually means that you can

choose to have said checker jumped or not jumped by your opponent.

As if?

For serious.

When a missing toothed AND adorable freckly faced 6-year old smiles at me with that, "I'm just so happy to be playing a game with you on this snowy and cold afternoon" heart warming grin....

Maybe sitting on the line of neither here nor there (neither boxed in, or out), does count for something.

Something VERY special.

Thank you my incredibly awesome Dec, for kicking my butt at checkers this afternoon.

I love you so, so, so much.

For serious.

The winter that isn't

My Mr. grumbles daily about this weather.
I say, it's a perfectly beautiful March day. It just happens to be February.
Don't we deserve a break now and then?
Last winter I returned from an early morning run with Drake proclaiming that it "felt pretty cold out there this morning". When I checked the thermometer it read -12•.
Forgive me for enjoying these balmy temps. But I do think they just might be keeping me afloat.

“What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again.”
― Suzanne Collins

Laughing from the top of the roller coaster.

So I spent 3 hours cleaning Happy House today..

You know, for the showing that never happened.

And so today is the day I realized this real estate thing-a-ma-jigger that we've just recently signed up

for is going to be quite the roller coaster.

We live for nearly seven years with a crappy old oven, get a new one in our kitchen just in time for the realtor open house, and now must stare at the old one through our living room window. Officially, kicked to the curb.

And so this evening, with our feet up in our living room... I turned to the Hubs and said, how could this be?

I posted our OLD OVEN on FREECYCLE. How come no one has claimed it yet? I mean, we're trying to GIVE someone a free oven.

And then he said, "well, read me the posting you wrote..."

And so I did.

OFFER: 30" gas freestanding range white

Posted by: "ME"

Sun Feb 19, 2012 2:24 pm (PST)

Tappan manufacturer. Easy pick up - indicate day & time in your reply. This is an older model range in fair working condition (rust, bent handle).

***

And then we just laughed, and laughed and laughed (from the tippy top of our roller coaster ride....)

I guess our trash isn't anybody's treasure.

Happier House.

So, when asked by our realtor to write a "Happy House Testimonial" for the reverse side of the MLS listing sheet (which now graces my kitchen counter), I took to the photo archives to stir up the memories and I think this picture above just might be my favorite in all the lot. The arrow sign in the distance above Nonie's head is the sign Lilly painted for our wedding and it is in our front garden with the words "Kara & Damien". Gosh, Happy House is full of the good stuff.

And when I look at this picture I remember that Nonie scooted. She never crawled. And here, on this day and in this photo, she scooted right through the front door and outside into the rain. And it was a beautiful moment. I didn't stop her. She got very wet, and she loved it. But, I think I loved it more.

And I also think I've used this picture before on this blog. Forgive me.

And so, when I wrote to my best friend of 35+ years on the night we listed the house to tell her the news, she responded to my email titled "we've put Happy House on the market" with the following:

"I'm so sad to hear that you are going to be leaving Happy House, but, I can't wait to visit Happier House".

And that is why she is my best friend. Thanks Toad.

For all of you for all of I.

Will you stand with me?
Stand on sand aside of me
as we see stood by the sea
the dream of what will be.

The crashing waves come in between
the soles, the souls and then the dream,
and all will be as this will seem;
A moment where we’ve been.

We share the water in our hands,
a sip, a sup upon the strand
and watch the tide displace the sand
from the rock on which we stand.

Hand in hand and eye in eye,
a hold, a hold before the sky
we’ll swap a clasp by oceans sigh;
For all of you for all of I.
- Declan McHenry Dreams & Tidings

Happy Valentine's Day

Boxed In.

Let it be known that for the millionth and one time in my life,

a lesson came at me, unexpectedly, from my children....

when something new appears in your living room, or in your life...

dig into it.

climb into it.
embrace it.

explore it - with every sense of your body.

don't be afraid of the unknown.
there may be a treasure waiting for you if you look hard and long enough.
or maybe

the treasure is the art of being open

to new experiences....
and not being or feeling boxed in.

Keeper of my gate.

The other day the kids played in the yard while I walked in and out of the house with boxes.

To the car and back again. The process was smooth and I didn't mind it one bit since the weather was simply mild and sunny for this time of year.

But when Declan took to the white picket fence gate and held it open for a moment, I realized and was instantly grateful that my life was easier with him as my gate keeper.

Unfortunately, neither his attention span nor doorman etiquette lasted more than two trips through the passageway. So, before I lost him completely, I asked him if he could find something to hold the gate open for me and continued on to fetch my next box.

I walked out to the car a minute later, he was (politely) asking and directing Nonie to sit in the spot by his foot on the driveway, with her back propping the gate open. She clearly had no idea what was going on but followed his directions with wide-eyed excitement because her big brother was paying attention to her.

Then, in his sing-song voice - the voice he uses only occasionally when he talks to his baby sister as if he were her parent - he said:

There, now be a good little girl and make sure Mommy's gate doesn't close on her.

And she did.

And for the rest of my lugging of boxes I thought of only this:

Might my children be the gatekeepers of my life?

When I am with them it seems like my opportunities abound, my goals are clear and reachable, and when I need it the very most - my gate is always held open with an encouraging smile.

a mother's wish....

I never imagined having two boys. I did not a have picture in my head of what my family would be, but being a woman and having three sisters, I just a figured there would be a girl in my life.

And there still may be, who knows.

But right now I am really enjoying my boys.

This morning I woke up with a bed full of men.

I have learned more about Star Wars in the past two months than I ever cared to know about in all my life.

I have been told I am as beautiful as Princess Leia and I know that is a compliment, and I can laugh because I know how funny and true it is when Xavy says his little brother is like R2D2 because of his noises and the way he moves his hands.

I have learned to embrace my love of camouflage and try not to cringe and yell when every single item is turned into a gun or a light saber.

Granted, I did have to paint my front door pink this past week, just in case I remain the only girl in this joint (I have been told in the past day that our first dog will have to be Eli).

I do think about the future, about them finding a mate and possibly moving away.

I hope for them a lifetime friendship, that is deep and goes beyond the wedgies and competition. I hope that for me too.

When I ran into a coworker last week she told me about her 2 boys, now in their mid twenties, friends. She beamed as she spoke about her boys and as I turned to leave she said to me,

and they are good to their mama.....

waited up for me.

i came in late tonight and these two had waited up for me.

so i rolled into their room and recounted the funny story from this morning.

the minute i began to tell it, nonie realized she was the star in the story and perked up a bit.

this morning,

i opened the car door to let nonie out at school and she'd fallen backwards into the car.

when i swung the door open, all i saw were mary janes and heart speckled tights floundering in the air.

it was her backpack that kept her in that position for a few seconds.

it was as if a turtle was lying upside-down - flailing its legs.

my laughter was immediate and i was relieved to see that she was laughing too.

i laughed out-loud again this evening recounting the story.

and once more earlier today sitting under the flourescent work lights of my desk - i'd let my mind wander for a bit and found it took me right back to my little girl flailing like a tipped turtle.

my co-workers wondered briefly what it was that had made me laugh.

now, late in the evening, the kids were belly laughing too.

it helped that nonie re-enacted the pose right there on her bed in her purple flowered pjs.

Then I kissed them a million times each and snuck downstairs.

Declan tiptoed down the stairs about 45 minutes later with breaking news:

I've seen extra long feet in nonie's bed.

huh?

So, a bit nervous, but realizing this definitely falls under my mother job description, I followed him upstairs. We bravely made our way to the edge of Nonie's bed where she slept soundly.

I stepped forward and pulled back the blankets and revealed

A straight line of stuffed animals were standing guard by Nonie's toes. She'd positioned them just so. Most of the barrier was made from hello kitty kat stuffed animals. Together, Dec and I laughed...we laughed out-loud.

A good laugh is like candy for my soul.

My soul had lots of sweets today.

Then, as he crawled into bed I thanked Dec

for waiting up for me.