my mansions

outer looks like this...



inner feels like this...



Merry Christmas to my loves!
Hope it is free of the whoops and bugs!

What is that sound?!

Oh. Wait.

I think I recognize it.

It is the sound of two exhausted and over excited sleeping babes.

It is the sound of snow falling.

And of the furnace churning in the basement.

It is the sound of creaky walls, settling floors and the humming of the fridge.

And of my fingertips typing.

Snowflakes dancing?

I hear them!

On a winter's night.

Fingers typing?

I hear them!

Every creak in this house is audible.

Every rattle and hum is peaceful.

What is that sound?!

It is the sound of silence.

Silence, you are very welcome indeed.

Wish it for them.

Yesterday.
I was in a store
Searching for presents.
Like every other crazed person I know.
And I overheard a conversation that I can't get out of my head.
A little boy said:
Why did you put that back up on the shelf?
And his mom said:
It is too expensive and we can't afford it.
And the boy said:
But it is Christmastime!
Christmas is in a few days!
And the mom said:
I know!
That is why I wanted to get the present for them.
And the boy said:
No mom, all you have to do is WISH it for them.
And the mom said:
What?
And the boy said (with such sincerity my heart actually hurt a bit):
Wish it for them, mom.
All you have to do is wish it for them and they'll get it.

***

And then I walked away.
And I wished it for them. For all of them.

* About the picture - I, the dog-sitter, type from Mom's computer and this is from her files. But I thought it was a bit Dorothy from the Wizzard of Oz - clicking her heals. You wit' me on that?!?

One sweet chick. My ma.

Tonight I read Mom's blog.
Listen, mom, I know you are busy, but HELLO some updates would be nice.
I vote for a picture a month.
Start slow.
But give me something.

I read the one about bringing the car in to Tim and forgetting that Buttercup was in the back.
She went up.
And you drew her there.
Now I need more!
I am not saying to shower me with pictures, I want to, but I'm not.

What I'm trying to say is, you are too good to be true.
Are you true?
And will you come over for an early dinner on Wednesday?
xoxo
e

Holiday Tips...

DO taste test all candies before assembling graham houses.


DO NOT expect even the most fun auntie surrounded by a table of sweets to steal attention away from Christmas movies.


DO build a graham village and santa's sleigh. DO NOT use a chocolate chip for the tail of the reindeer. It looks like reindeer poop.


DO go sledding. DO NOT tell your auntie she is too big and that is why the sled is not moving even though the hill is clearly not steep enough. Clearly..


DO rescue your little-white-fleece-vest-wearing-dog from the snow banks.


DO shovel the snow off the porch to make a huge snow pile. DO NOT keep telling your auntie when her breaks are over even though she is making trips hither and fro to get all the snow off the rocks.


DO make snow angels.


DO climb a many-branched tree and say things like "I don't think mama would like to see this".

Ode to the Weekend....

Oh dear sweet weekend, how fleeting though art...

how I long for you days to extend, and your nights to be endless.

How sweet it tis to pass your days with family, starting with your ALWAYS pleasant FRIDAY night....perhaps your best night, fore Monday is but ages away, and how much fun we had, all three, hiding under the snuggie and getting our hair all full of static....

And then to Saturday morn, when getting out of bed is fun because nothing lies ahead but pajamas, waffles, coffee and old fashioned classic Christmas movies to pass our idle time.

Then the rest of the pleasant day filled with wrapping and organizing and trying to provide a Christmas for a family in need.

And alas, never to forget Saturday afternoon, with the car trip to that notorious BOB'S, what a pleasant store, to sit and test out some new furniture, a couch perhaps? And who knew that the BOB'S had free candy and drinks and treats galore, and a beautful koi pond abundant with fish! A must destination for a restless 16 month old on a cold day. And then, a visit from the beloved Googy and Marmee full of kisses and hugs and presents of course!

But then, oh weekend, on the break of dawn Sunday the wee one wishes to...SLEEP. Yes, believe you me we were all taken aback as his little eyes resisted the daylight as we always dreamed they would, yet a Granny and a Googy were waiting with bells on, as we had a race to get to. So out in the frost, all bundled of course. To Jingle Jog our morn' away. With promises of a feast to fit a king at the diner to follow, all runners were swift, and out of the cold none too soon. To the safety and warmth of our home we retired, to read and play and Crock-A-Stew all day.

And so here we are weekend, on your most dreaded....SUNDAY NIGHT. And what do you give me? A Giant's game to endure.

But our bellies our satisfied and our eyes are heavy, and our schedules are full for the upcoming week, but we are comforted as we go out to seek our fate.

Because we know you'll be back.

PS....photo of LAST weekend, which was also BRILLIANT!

I Now Know Why

Today was a bit hectic. But I'm glad to say that right now, at 11:32pm I now know a few more things than I did this morning.

* After a good long soak in the hot tub, chased with a jaunt to the steam room, and a hop to the sauna (in lieu of working out this evening at the gym) - I now know why Susie speaks so highly of the tri-bathalon. I think I won it.

* This evening, I watched out the windows as Declan skied and skied and skied under the spotlights (!) in our backyard, down a wee-slope I can hardly call a hill, well after sunset. And, I now know why Damien spent countless hours (and the good Lord knows how much money) working a few weeks ago on "outdoor lighting" while my insides boiled over because he wasn't addressing the real issues with this crazy little Happy House that has more quirks than you can shake a stick at. The outside lights weren't even close to making it on the "needs attention list".

* After driving home from the tri-bathalon with a pit-stop/sista' chat fest - at Emah's, I can honestly say - I now know why I tell any and everyone that I'm so lucky to have family who live close by.

The Rollercoaster....

The ups and downs of nursing are crazy. There is much more that I thought I would write about it but for now, I think thats about all I should/can/will divulge.

Oh, by the way, is this a Christmas decorating contest? Is there a way I can capture the essenence of the wimpy wimpy wimpy tree with WHITE lights that are ALWAYS ON and COLORED lights that go from s l o w f a d e to seizure causing within seconds?

Probably not, let your imagination take you there. For now feast your eyes. The making of a Christmas card.

Christmas Lights and a Fa La La

Last night, as I unplugged my Christmas lights before bed, I felt bad.
I felt bad that the people driving by would not get to see how cute my lights are.
Do you think they are cute?
I think they are cute.
A lit wreath! Come on!
What I really want to do is copy everything the lady across the street does because she is so clever! If only she were on a different street!! 'Cept she uses colored lights and I've got my white ones.


Last night there was caroling at the Old Round Church. It was so small-towny.
Having been inspired by Tese, I'm sure, Eric tried to harmonize with some of the songs.
Really loudly.
I of course sounded like a song-bird and will be cutting my first Christmas album shortly.
I thought about snapping a pic of the ORC for my Christmas Card, but the only thing I got was chilly fingers.

At least my lights are cute!

Dear Santa, YOU better watch out!

Christmas magic has stormed Happy House and with it comes the barrage of questions:

1. Without a chimney, how will Santa get in?
2. Is Christmas tomorrow?
3. If Christmas is baby Jesus' birthday, why don't we eat birthday cake?
4. When I wake up tomorrow, will it be Christmas then?
5. Can I eat this candy cane before breakfast?
6. If Jesus is a king, did he wear a crown in his mommies' belly?
7. Why isn't Christmas today?
8. What happened to the Advent Calendar Chocolate for the 23rd of December it isn't the 23rd yet is it? (my question, not Dec's)
9. Did the crown hurt his Mary?
10. Momma, have I been nice or very nice? (gotta love that there was no "naughty" option)
11. How can Santa see me if he lives way in the north pole?
12. Nonie, can you pretend it is Christmas morning with me?

...and wonders of His love!

One of those daze

It was one of those days.

Not the good kind.

The kind where your eyes are bleary, hair is knotty and breath is....well...less then favorable.

It was a Monday, 2:00 a.m., lights on , toys out, full on play mode. Until about 5.

I could blame teeth, or a nagging cough, or over stimulation from days and days of family.

Finally after 15 hours of no sleep (for me anway, the kid grabbed a few zzz's sleeping on my chest while coughing in my face), I decided to try the car. Which was not part of my plan. Sleep in the car for him means no rest for the mama.

Moi.

So I load up the car, hoping that I can at least be productive and get a birthday treat for Bri.

But I can't find my keys.

Any my hair looks like a rat's nest, and my breath is oh so desirable, and I am an my pj's.

And my keys are missing.

But I just had them.

And the radio is blaring and the seat heat is keeping my bottom warm. And my keys are....yup....in the ignition because the car is ON.

Genius!

And he starts to fall asleep about 2 seconds before the store so the windows are down and the radio is up and the singing is LOUD.

And we make it to the store, birthday treats are bought, and we survive the day. And the daze.

Bitty babies and cheese fondue.

I think this is withdrawl.

The time after a weekend filled to the brim with all those people you love the most and want to hug the most.
And then you leave.
And you can't.
Hug them.
But you can still love them.

And you can remember that these kids have the most exclusive club going.


And these kids want to be where the action is.


And this kid's cheeks were sent from the heavens to be filled with smooches.

And cheese fondue is always the answer.

She who cycles to work.

There is a woman who cycles to work. When I first passed her this summer several thoughts entered my mind:

1. They really make spandex that big?
2. They really make women that big?
3. If anyone should be cycling to work, it is her. Though it looks really painful. And awkward.

Keep in mind this is in an area of our country where pedaling to commute somewhere is practically unheard of. And, she happened to be cycling along the busiest road I travel from my home to work.

Yet she cycles.

I've seen her in the rain.

I've seen her go up hill. R-E-A-L-L-Y slowly.

I've seen her with flashing lights strapped to her back and ankles. Cycling home well after sunset.


Today I pulled up behind a cyclist on my way into work. She looked like a real bicycle commuter. Fit, fast, and confident. And one thought entered my mind:

1. Wow, other women cycle to work too.

And then I realized that it was the same woman as the one I'd seen for several months.

Only she was a smaller version of her old self.

I became really proud for her. And thankful to have watched her succeed.

And I wanted to shout out my window: YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION!!!!

But she pulled ahead at the green light, and cycled under the Merritt Parkway.

And she didn't look back.

Christmas glimpses...

I couldn't resist!
(My crazy flying lady!)



I was bursting at the seams!
(Big CTS balls! Knew I needed those!)



I am in the spirit!
(My homemade stockings! Made one inside out by accident! It's ok though. I am dealing.)

Happy Hour.

Doing Great Things, Like Saving Land. Forever

The career I've chosen is all wrapped up in a hard to comprehend time line.
I work and work and work to save land from development. Forever.

But forever is so far away. So far.

I spend most of my days wondering how to make people understand that forever is a really long time. And in order to protect land (forever) we need money that will last that long.

Instead of becoming a doctor. I became a tree hugger.

Instead of becoming a chef. I decided I wanted to grapple with "forever" day in and day out.

How long is forever?

I'm starting to realize that it is Really long.

Saving land is a noble act. Those who donate their land are such selfless individuals I can't even imagine! Can't even wrap my head around it! So visionary!

Imagine: Loving land so much, that you just want to save it, in its natural state, so that all who pass by and trample the grass with excitement - have the OPPORTUNITY to love it as you do.

I get nervous some times when I see the dumpsters in driveways, houses being re-built to three times their size. I get nervous that the highways are getting wider and more and more beautiful natural areas are shrinking.

I get nervous that my children won't look out their car window in 10 years and see wooded landscapes or vistas of rolling fields and second growth forests. I get nervous that all they will see are impervious surfaces like driveways, and rooftops, roads and buildings.

But then, I remember why I stay up so late working on lists and letters and trying to raise money (despite this desperate economy).

Doing great things, like saving land. Forever.

I work so that my children will have future days speckled with green meadows, majestic pines, soaring hawks, and trickling streams.

Dec & Nonie will know these things because today at work, I did great things.
I saved land.
Forever.

Not this kid....

So I slunk the kid into school today with a hat on his head. I tried not to look anyone in the eye as I went past the front desk and into the room. I was looking for the big STOP sign with a picture of a creepy crawly on it warning of HEAD LICE!! FOUND HERE...then a picture of Xave's noggin.

I thought we would be black listed.

No signs, coast is clear.

But of course as we open the door to the room the director of the day care walks out, looks me in the eye and whispers, "how is he?"

I reply saying fine, and shrug my shoulders, not wanting to draw attention to any our conversation.

No sideways glances from the teachers (well maybe one).

And no, maybe it wasn't the work of the louse that put the bites into Xave's head. Perhaps it was the shears used for his first official haircut at Supercuts, but I put out the red alert, and the worst that could have happened is a complete cleaning of the room. Can't be a bad thing to do in this season of illness.

But really look at that face.

Couldn't be his fault.

The truth.

The truth is, Eric be's better at blood than he be's at fevers.
It's ok that I am telling you this. I told him so just an hour ago.

That is because I had a very lovely glass plate. But I did not have a large lid for my pan.

So I used my plate to cover me pan to cook my rice.

Until... oh until. The plate slid off the pan and before shattering into approximately 1.674 million pieces on the floor, it hit my foot.

I said "that kind of hurt" and then started cleaning up glass while my rice got cold.

When I stood up I noticed a spot on my sock. Remembering the plate had fallen on my foot I thought "blood" and "I hope these are my socks".

True story! Everywhere is no lie! Well kind of a lie but a small one.

Eric said "put your foot in the tub!"

And he cleaned up the glass. And wiped up the red stuff I trailed into the bathroom (gross!)

Then he made me a tourniquet out of the bandana that I hope got washed after I used it during that day last week that I went to school with a super boogy nose.

Then we ate cold rice. And then he let me lie on the couch with my foot up while he scraped the cold rice and other such delights out of the pans and cleaned them. And he told me it looked pretty deep and put some goopy stuff on the scene of the crime.


So I told him "you be's better at blood than fevers" and he said "what? I have never repaired a FEMUR break". I laughed a bit, and said no FEVERS.

And he said "Oh... but I ASKED".
But this time, he just DID.

And it was nice.

The way things look (in 5 parts)

A photo essay...

1) Tights.

Questionable. I had second thoughts on these this morning but it was too late. I was in the parking lot at school. I wondered to myself "are these fishnets??" Throughout the day I got lots o' "compliments". Mostly "those are great tights". As I walked out to my car at 3:00 I thought, you know, there is a difference between "those are great tights" and "those tights look great". Also, they make me look squat. Out with the tights!

2) Pumpkins.

Tired. Only pumpkins left on the block and I realized it is high past the season to be decorating with pumpkins. They can't wait to be recycled next week! You'll see.

3) Loot.

Festive. With only hours to spare (dozens of them) I cashed in on my CTShops coupons. Who knew I needed 2 large green and red balls with gold sparkle paint? Me! I also shared a coupon with a priest who was (I can only assume) buying all (3 of the) religious Christmas items to decorate his Church. Cruise control to Heaven!

4. Neighbor's Christmas Tree.

Ripe. Can you say JEALOUS? Is it extra green or is that the envy oozing from my eyeballs?

5. Neighbor's Golden Retriever.

Drooly. Oh wait, that's me. Is this dog green too? It's so hard to tell. Thank goodness both the neighbors are at class so I can sneak onto their back porch and take snapshots of their things. Surprise!

Deep (dish) thoughts.

I would like to talk to you honestly and openly about pizza.

After four nights of wilting on the couch my tired body did not want much. Unbeknown to me it had already come down with quite the case of swine flu and was morphing into bronchitis.
No I didn't want much more. Actually, I didn't want what I didn't know I had.
You still with me?
So when Friday night dinner rolled around and Eric asked what I might want to eat (seeming to understand that I would not be the one cooking) I said "maybe some of the pizza in the freezer". Really I had been thinking about that freezer-pizza for a few hours. Now it seemed so close!
Upon freezer inspection he reported that we did not have any pizza. (When did he eat that? I now wonder).
Oh.
"But I can go to the corner store and buy some".
Lest I catch you thinking "Aw what a guy" let me rewind to the night before. When he told me he could go down to said corner store for some Vick's Vapor rub because it is just so great and he loves it so much and it will work wonders and I just had to have it. I waited. He never left the house.
I knew the pizza was just a mirage. Maybe the whole corner store was.
"No, it's ok".
I wasn't really that hungry anyway. Truly. I was pizza. You know? It was Friday night. Isn't that the ultimate Friday night dinner? But really, I wasn't hungry. In case you are wondering what happened... I lived to see Saturday morning.
As I lay quarenteened at Tese's house for the day Saturday I began to realize that she truly was not going to let me go home. I surrendered into my corner of the couch and watched four more hours of the Little Couple. That Bill is a hoot!! I did not lift a finger all day. That really happens when you're sick?
Maddy and Andrew came pack from a birthday party with a hot pizza. AT LONG LAST! My tummy smiled.
I came home this morning for just long enough to mumble something about "needing to go to Stowe to get some TLC" within Eric's earshot and headed out for a previously planned trip to Target with a pal. Before I left Eric asked something about would I want dinner tonight. It was 10 am.

When I got home he asked me.......
"How about some pizza?"

He is in the kitchen.

Making it from scratch.

That makes for two nights in a row.



It should have been three.
(I mean... thank you.)

WKRP

Thinking about names and how we come up with them.
I have never had a problem with my name.
Not sure if I say it correctly, and not so sure I love it when people ask if its spelled the boys way, or if I say my name and then the person replies, "oh hi Anne".
But I like my name.
I have stashes of names stored up for upcoming children I hope to have (and no this is not an announcement).

Today as we fled the homestead to allow Maria to get down to business, we hit up a local establishment for some hot wings.
Then it came on the radio, a jingle from a t.v. show that was on the air more than 20 years ago (must be around 26 years ago).
The theme song from WKRP in Cincinatti.
Not sure how I know that, as t.v. was not allowed, must have been right before a cord cutting.


And then I remembered.
When mom and dad sat us down to tell us about Ourleen.
She was coming.
And I had a name picked out for her. If she was a boy. Which we didn't know then.





Johnny Fever.




XOXO Ourleen! Feel better! I'm glad you are Ourleen and not Johnny.

Sweet Maria

I wonder how so many can be in so much pain,
while others don't seem to feel a thing.
Then I curse my whiteness and I get so damn depressed.
In a world of suffering, why should I be so blessed?

(More from Brett Dennen. The amazing Brett Dennen - or have I said that already?)

But a morning with sweet Maria and those words sum up the feelings deep in my heart....

Thanks Mom. Were you trying to fuel my inner spark by sending Sweet Maria my way this morning? 'Cause if so....




It worked.

Brownie Soup

Today, Bernice's Brownies didn't quite turn out the way they were supposed to.

And since that is all that wasn't quite right for me today - I'd say the day was pretty spectacular.

Plus, I know people in high places when it comes to brownies. I shouldn't even bother trying.