A Hasselhoff Dive.

Yesterday his kayak squirreled away from under Dec's bottom. It drifted to the deep.

Without hesitating I peeled off clothes and did a Hasselhoff Dive into the not-so-warm lake to fetch it.

A few strokes of butterfly, a few fresstyle and I was there.

With no intention of swimming yesterday, I found myself in the crisp clear water splashing about like an otter. A September 11 Blue Sky smiled above. My freckle face boy was alongside.
My happy surfer girl was on the beach yards away. My mother was kayaking the perimeter of the lake while we played....and I felt so alive and lucky to be.

**MAGIC**

I know it's not about the presents.
It really is not.
Especially now for me as an adult.
I love to give and am in want of nothing. Which I am grateful for everyday.

But the magic started with the presents.
It started with the anticipation of waiting for Santa to come on Christmas eve and the sheer, overflowing JOY of seeing our living room on Christmas morning. The spilling of the gifts from under the tree that stretched across the room was AWEsome. Truly.
And thinking back on that time I know that this is how I learned to appreciate the magic that is surrounded by Christmas.
Because when Christmas comes we can be together.
When there is an underlying excitement and suspense and BELIEF then other stressors and anger and real world type stuff can be put aside for a while. Because when we feel this good we want others to feel it too, and we try to spread out cheer the ways that we can.


When Kara posed the question at the beginning of the season about what inspires us could only think of this.
This time of year will always be magical for me, and now with a child it has a renewed spirit and life. I am thankful everyday of the work that I do and the people I get to meet doing it. On the day before Christmas eve I met a patient who was POW in Germany for two years during WWII, and his wife was telling me the story of going to his funeral. I sat in awe of their story and had in the back of my mind how blessed I have been. I am moved by everyone around me, and will try to share their stories, good and bad, to help inspire others. And I will try not to do it only around Christmas.

I will remember seeing our Christmas tree from the olden days, and build magic for others like was done for me.






btw...despite a brief ER visit...X had a GREAT christmas

'Tis the Season....

'Tis the season....

when I take stock of what I have

been given.

And I think

Oh!

WOW!

(ALL FOR ME?)

THANKS!

***

It is also the time of year when I wrap the outside of Happy House in Christmas.

And that comes with its own set of Oh! WOW! moments.

Like, the other night I was on a step ladder hanging from the front tree where we've hung about 1,000 strands of white lights and 35 gold ball christmas ornaments.

I bent down the tippy top branch and hooked a gold ball to it. Yes! (I thought) I got a ball on the very top branch!!! (don't even ask me why this would be important to me. it just is).

Well, about 10 seconds later I heard the ball bounce off the roof of a neighbor's car - a good 30 yards down the road!!!

I'd launched that sucker right through the air and I nearly fell off the ladder with laughter because of it.

I mean, if anyone saw these antics they'd have me arrested - and the hubby would have dragged me inside telling me my decorating for the day was doneski.

Thank God this all happened in the cover of dark.

'Tis the Season.

count your blessings

My days are strange. I find glitter in the radiator vents. I eat my turkey sandwich at 9:30 when my kids go to art. I clean up bloody nose-drippings off the floor.  I laugh it off when my student points to the word "Mass" and says that the last three letters make a bad word. Does your six year old know that? Or have I just done an amazing job teaching phonics?
But today I looked out on my domain and my heart smiled.
I felt it.
There they all sat. Engulfed in their work as I sat with three girls for a reading group.

I know that I am not doing this alone.
I count my blessings.

I come home to a dog wagging his tail to see me. Even though I leave him for maybe a little longer than I should. He's been sitting on the love seat all day. I can see his butt imprint. I set it up all cozy for him (shhh). He's kicked the blanket off - straight to the source. He's sassy. I like that.

I have health and a bit of wealth that is maybe not as monetary as might be nice but it fills me up. It looks like parents and sisters and brothers. In-laws and out. Nieces and nephews.

Spending my day with 6 and 7 year olds help me remember the fundamentals. The really simple things. The pleases and thank you's. Your welcomes and I'm sorry's.  The wants and needs.

I know I have much more than I need.

And I count my blessings.

When I Dance, You Dance.

This evening I put my headphones on, turned the Ipod up and chopped veggies in preparation for the big soiree tomorrow. With the hubby glued to the Michigan game, I blasted my eardrums and became absorbed in melodies.

Then, her tiny hands wrapped around my legs and I felt Nonie hugging me from below.
Up. She was up. (Not sleeping). Way up. And it was 10pm.

I carried about with my work as she dragged her stool across the kitchen. She placed it in front of the sink, hoisted herself up on it and sat. She was fascinated with my slicing, dicing, peeling, scooping - though I never really looked straight at her - I watched her peripherally. Is that a word? It is now.

I wasn't thinking about vegetables - I was actually thinking about Mom and her halloween birthday.

More specifically I was remembering the card Chris got for her when we were little that had a picture of a lost kid talking to a police officer on the front with the quote,

"Have you seen my mother?"

And on the inside of the card the police officer is scratching his head and saying,

"I don't know, there are so many places she could be hiding."

At some point during all this, I clearly started dancing to the music funneling into my head. And when I'm chopping veggies - boy, can I drop a beat. And so can Nonie.

Nonie, when I Dance, You Dance
(even when you can't hear the music).

And before long I was back to thoughts about Mom and her Halloween Birthday.
With Mom I laugh, hope, cry, learn, complain, love, question, and dream.
With her I explore the "Whys" and the "Hows" and find the strength to believe in the "What ifs".
And my mind raced with memories and highlights, all the times I turn to Mom for the missing piece...

And as I replay my childhood memories I see that:

When I Laugh, She Laughs.
When I Cry, She Cries.
When I Question, She Questions.
When I Dream, She Dreams.

And of course Mom,
When I Dance, You Dance.
Because, you are my music.

Happy Birthday.

WITH THANKS.

First post of 2010.
A thank you post.
To all...
for all...

I begin the new year and the new decade counting my many blessings.

(And squeezing Nonie's sweet cheeks whenever I can.)

Sweet Maria

I wonder how so many can be in so much pain,
while others don't seem to feel a thing.
Then I curse my whiteness and I get so damn depressed.
In a world of suffering, why should I be so blessed?

(More from Brett Dennen. The amazing Brett Dennen - or have I said that already?)

But a morning with sweet Maria and those words sum up the feelings deep in my heart....

Thanks Mom. Were you trying to fuel my inner spark by sending Sweet Maria my way this morning? 'Cause if so....




It worked.