but I always take the long way home

I had a pretty freaky ride home from work today starting at the highway exit ramp because a cop car followed me from there through town. I know it's not a huge deal. I'm not 16. I get it. However, the speed limit goes from 40 to 50 to 40 to 30 in about a 1/2 mile span and that can be very stressful especially when you're deciding what you want to listen to the on radio.

But that's not even the really freaky part.
Get this.

Who's the genius behind this one?
This is the scarecrow outside the gas station.

Drake saw this the other morning on our run.
Picture this: 5:30 am. Pitch black. Cold morning. Throwing away our poop bag in the garbage can.
See absolute sketchiest scarecrow ever.
Drake barks.
So we turn right and head down the street and a newspaper delivery car shines its lights on a garbage can.
What would you do?
I mean...
what would you do if you were a dog and just had yourself freaked by a zombie gas-pump scarecrow in the pitch black?
Would you bark at the garbage can for a minute?
Yes, you would.

There is another freaky scarecrow down the street hanging from a tree. I think there are laws against that. I hereby declare that I no longer like scarecrows. Another simple-ton one down the street in front of a lovely red house is headless. I don't care if they are just harvesting their pumpkin. Don't put a headless, tree-hanging, zombie gas-pumping scarecrow in front of your home or business when I am being followed home by a police officer while trying to find a good song on the radio.