hoarding tuna and getting caught

If you know me
then you know I would never
hoard tuna.
Ever.

But I know someone who does.
And now I know that I will never
ever
ever
be a tunahoarder.

I went into THE,
I am not yet able to call it MY,
classroom today.

Was I overwhelmed by the amount of stuff still in it?
Yes.
Did I want to move things around and mark my spot in there - so to speak -
Yes.
But I got sidetracked by a full desk.

I suppose, in retrospect, I feel guilty for all of the things I recycled and threw away.
At the time, though, it was amazing.

The previous teacher chose to leave her desk completely full.
And I mean COMPLETELY.
There were trays of pushpins, mounds of pens, bags of rubberbands.
Bags of rubberbands?
Have I stumbled upon some unknown secret of teaching,
that requires you to have five massive ziplocs overflowing with rubberbands?

Oh did I purge.
And then,
I purged some more.

I had the thought that mom would be a little disappointed in me for all the things I was tossing away.
Because once when I as a bit younger and say not-as-wise I was walking with her and saw a penny head down and didn't pick it up because that's bad luck.
And she made me pick it up.
Cross my heart.
Let no penny go wasted.

But oh!
The things I threw away.
I stumbled upon the food drawer and had myself a bit of a gag when I spotted
this


and this.


Hoarding tuna.
And Salisbury steak.

For some strange reason,
I packed her up the tuna in a tub that previously homed children's books.
But the steak had to go.
It expired over a year ago.
Room temperature Salisbury steak stored in a desk drawer for over a year?
You're welcome lady.

I was just having a laugh with the assistant principal about the tuna,
and the bag of communion hosts I had found...

(sidenote a: he tried the hosts to see if they were stale)
(sidenote b: what is more sacrilegious: shoving a bag of communion hosts in your desk, eating one of those hosts as if it were a potato chip, or writing a post like this)
(sidenote c: they weren't stale)

...
when she walked in
and said
"I was just coming to clean out my desk".

I looked from her to the overflowing recycling bin,
to her,
to the garbage.

Where her steak lay under a pile of ice cream scoops.

I said something about it being hot.
And just as quickly as she appeared,
I was gone.